a response!

I’ve always been a big believer in addressing things directly, concisely, and eloquently when necessary. However, with my mother’s series of rants on the internet against my dad who is unable to defend himself, I’ve felt compelled to say at least something.

I don’t want to come here and slander my mother. It doesn’t take much to guess the undertones of our relationship, or lack thereof, and it also shouldn’t take much critical thinking to understand what led us here. My one takeaway from my mother’s existence is that mental health matters and should be addressed before it spirals into a bigger issue, like the addiction that eroded her sanity.

Although it’s not widespread disdain, I still feel it’s needed for me to say something about my mom’s statements. They are all false, exaggerated, and utterly disgusting lies made up to slander his character and kick a man when he’s down, to say the bare minimum. My dad was hospitalized on November 23rd and has been in rehabilitation centers since. He is not allowed to leave because of the environment he would go home to. His health is as well as it could be, Parkinson’s Disease aside.

Mentally, he is suffering from early stages of dementia and many other complications of Parkinson’s and having a wife who speaks to you in the way my mother speaks to him, such as frequently wishing him to be dead already and criticizing every single aspect of his personality. Although these issues impede his quality of life, he is not a liar, he is not manipulative, his character is the same as it always has been, and he is trying so hard every single day to improve from a neurodegenerative disease. It is contradictory to say that he is lazy, inadequate, or worthless when he defies the medically perceived odds of his diagnosis every single day. His mental fortitude is beyond admirable. I have never met someone stronger than my dad, both when he could throw me over his shoulder and now that he can’t walk unassisted.

His condition fluctuates, and he calls everyone on the good days. He doesn’t call on the bad ones. She does not visit him. When I am home, I do every single day. I know more about his condition than anyone with the exception of his medical team. We have discussed end of life plans, which my mother plans on disrespecting for her own agenda, which is beyond my point.

My main point is that my dad is nothing like my mother degrades him to be. Those statements are only a reflection of her character, not his. The cheating allegations are also rich coming from her, considering what she’s told my dad, which is all I’ll say about that. All I ask of anyone who’s read this is to send my dad an extra text. It means a lot. Be there and show up in tiny ways for your people, because you truly never know what’s going on behind closed doors.

And Dad, you deserve so much better in every facet of life. The worst things truly happen to the best people.